An eternal dilemma – how to make myself more interesting to others? Well, first of all, it’s important to not try to be somebody else and fake your way into new friendships. You are wonderful and people don’t have a reason not to love you for who you really are. However, there are some mistakes we all sometimes make, mistakes that could intimidate and even drive away any potential dates, friends and acquaintances. So, here are some things you need to work on if you feel like your social life could use a jumpstart:
1. Adopt a positive attitude
Would you rather spend ten minutes talking with a cheerful person or an hour listening to somebody constantly complaining about everything? I’d definitely pick the first one and I’m pretty sure most people would agree with me on that. Negative people spread negative energy and spending time with them usually leaves me feeling drained… as if somebody has sucked out all the life force and happiness out of me. Yes, we all have problems and we all feel much better when we share them with somebody but there’s time and place for everything. If you keep trying to turn every story into your personal tragic tale, people will soon find themselves bored and rush to find a more interesting company.
2. Be honest
Don’t pretend to be something that you are not – it won’t bring you anything good. If your little act works you won’t feel very good knowing that your friends don’t know the real you. If you blow your cover, you’ll end up alone and exposed as a faker. You see, that’s why I love kids so much, they are always honest! They either love you or they don’t and their love has nothing to do with your beauty or social status – they simply love you. Now, it would be great if you could adopt a little bit of that “childish” spirit because, I’ve met some people that have it, and I have to admit that they have always been the most wonderful company and most lovable people ever!
3. Be a good listener
You have to know when is your time to talk and when should you just sit and listen. Not everything can always be about you so, if your friends or colleagues have been patient enough to let you finish what you had to say, it’s only fair listen to what they have to say, too! If I, for example, realize, a person isn’t listening the word I’m saying, I’ll quickly lose any interest for that particular individual.
4. Dose the information you share
Like I said before, there is time and place for everything so don’t try to blurt out your entire life story over the first cup of coffee. People find this very intimidating, I know because I have a friend that does this. She just keeps talking about her life, mentioning various friend’s names, like they are famous and everybody should know about them. She even reveals some of her private stuff that are not exactly an ideal topic to discuss with people you only know for a few hours.
5. Lose the “attitude”
How to the others see you? Maybe you’re not as accessible and friendly-looking as you thought? There’s only one way to tell, and that is to ask people you already know. Ask them what was their first impression of you and, if they say they though you’re posh, a meanie or a brute… well, it’s time to work on loosing that attitude. Bite yourself on the tongue whenever you feel like making a snide remark or a rude joke. Start smiling and don’t forget to say “Good morning”, “Hi” or “Thank you” to your colleagues at work.
6. Put in a good word or offer a helping hand
You need to show that you care for the people around you! Ask them about their family, their life, ideas, offer to help when you can and don’t ever feel like you’re too big to say a nice thing about somebody else. Praising others doesn’t mean you’re lowering yourself and diminishing your own achievements – it shows that you are confident about yourself enough to let the others have their well deserved moment of glory too.
7. Being clean
Yup, this one is applicable even after elementary school! You’d be surprised to know how many people don’t even bother to pay attention to their personal hygiene. Looking good doesn’t presume slapping on a new coat of makeup every morning, or smothering your odors in a cloud of expensive perfume. I actually find the smell of shampoo and fabric softener quite attractive and I’ll rather spend my time with a person that smells this way.
8. Let others be the center of your attention
You want to talk about yourself? Well, so does everyone else. People like sharing their stories, ideas and feelings so the best thing to do, if you’re trying to win somebody over, is ask questions and seem truly interested in what the person has to say. Make sure you remember the person’s name too and use it a lot while addressing to him/her.
These little things may not sound like a precise “battle plan” or a set of drastic changes you’ll need to make. And, they really aren’t because all you have to do is find a good way to present yourself and others will soon find themselves magically drawn to you. Do you know of any other ways and tactics that can be used to become a socialite?